Can you remember anything that happened to you before the were 5 years old? Most adults I’ve met can. Even my new neighbors, Tega and Royal, 8 and 7 years old respectively can remember and are willing to share unique experiences from when they were 4 years and below.
Most adults with relationship issues were violated, abused, maltreated and disoriented as children. I doubt some ever grew up. A young man shared with me how their housemaid made him sleep with her for years (without his parent’s knowledge) from when he was 10 years old, and now he’s only attracted to older ladies.
This reminiscing began after two recent incidents.
A mother asked her 4year old daughter, Idaraabasi, (also my Goddaughter) on the evening of her 4th birthday if she was happy with all she got. She answered yes, but she’s not happy because aunty Beryl didn’t call her. Her mother searched for me the next Sunday and told me very seriously to ensure I see my goddaughter. I still remember the seriousness with which she said it and the guilt I felt wondering what kind of relevance I had to a toddler.
A week before, a friend who had accommodated me while I did a PG programme at the University of Ibadan, made a video call to me. It was exciting seeing her and 3 year old daughter , Anuoluwapo again. She told me how while bathing Anu one day, she sang her a song, and her 3 year old daughter blurted, ‘mummy, aunty Beryl used to sing that song for me when she’s bathing me… ‘. The conversation went on but I couldn’t help wondering… how come this child remembered an experience from when she was barely 2? What if it was negative?
I still remember some experiences from my childhood, don’t you? The effects still linger. Sins of our uncles, aunties, relatives, teachers, neighbors and heroes past. They say our LIFE EXPERIENCES FORM OUR BELIEF SYSTEM, WHICH THEN AFFECT OUR DECISIONS AND ULTIMATELY OUR DESTINY.
My mum would often say children are spirits, they seem to know certain things we can’t explain or conclude that blood is thicker than water. Many say they have angels guarding them, yet so vulnerable…hmmm
The mission today is two-pronged. First to put a caveat out there to parents, neighbors, relatives, everyone…children are Precious, guard them jealously or you won’t live out the guilt of their violation. To the peodophiles and molesters…go pick on someone your own size. I know you probably suffered the same fate, but hey! Get help, don’t repeat history by destroying another life.
Yes, to the crucial part, it’s about you. You out there living a life you didn’t desire, cannot seem to control. That incident from your childhood has messed you up, you’re too ashamed to share, because people won’t understand, they’ll still blame you, look down their nose at you. You know what I’m talking about…you have lost the battle over it’s effects. Stop! Listen to me… I understand but God knows even more. You can be free, whole again. Just let go, Let God heal your soul, transform you. You need to forgive them and yourself or you’ll never be free. Taking your life, only worsens your suffering eternally. JESUS is the answer.
I believe there’s a child in everyone. We are all children reaching for love always and in every way. Only God’s love can abruptly absolutely fill that void and heal that pain. I share of what I’ve experienced, love incomparable.
What seeds are you sowing in the life of children around you? What will they remember ILY for? Will they avoid you in their adult days or want to be like you? God is watching. Plus thou get to reap what you sow. Children are the heritage of the Lord.
There’s more to share, but we stop here, lest you get bored. Give us feedback via comments and/or email.
We love you but God does even more.