Some feedback came after our first post on haunting hurt (See link www.monteeclairs.com/2017/05/haunting-hurt.html) ; someone was just about to hurt other people because he was hurt, then he read the post and changed his mind. A lot of people are hurting and it’s human to hurt sometimes. The source of the hurt are usually around and don’t seem to care, maybe they were hurt too, and so their minds are distorted, smeared and blinded against others hurting.
The source of the hurt is many cases someone close , someone admired or not , like your father, mother, sibling, Pastor, Elder, townsmen, boyfriend, girlfriend, church-folk, colleague, neighbours, cousins, extended relatives, husband, wife, in-laws , your ex, the supervisor, lecturer, bossman, the president, the country, robbers…the list is endless and so seems your pain.
So you hold them down with barb wires in your mind or so you think.
You build a wall around yourself for protection but it has become a cage. You have seen the evil in the world through the mirror of your experiences and instead of cleaning or fixing the mirror, you wanna break it or hide it. In fact, you tried it earlier, but the pain became deeper like a festering wound. Honey, you’re the one in pain, in jail, you are hurting, not them.
What is the worst hurt ever? A rape, betrayal, death or simply that you can’t forgive yourself? Our experiences differ and so does the pain. So it’s insensitive to say your hurt is weightier than the other person’s hurt. But can you get past it?, Yes you can!
Don’t mind those people who slam you with ‘forgive and forget’, such that when you can’t forget, you begin to move around with guilt of hurt-unforgotten-but-forgiven, thus confessing unforgiveness repeatedly. That’s unscriptural and salt upon injury (God heard you the first time, now He can help you deal with the pain you feel).
Honey, let me tell this from experience, you can forgive, not forget but look at your experience and hurt from love, gratitude and positive perspective. Holding hurt can cause and aggravate sickness like ulcer, high blood pressure, hypertension, migraine etc.
I still see some who hurt me in times past, I forgave and pray for them sometimes. They are humans, make mistakes and have the capacity to do better. So if God still gives me a chance to breathe and enjoy this amazing body on this planet, why should I carry the weight of a pain/hurt in the short time on this planet; ultimately all of us are accountable to God, even they.
Forgiveness is for you, not the other person. It’s your freedom, your liberation, your longevity and better health. It’s refreshing, like a burden lifted when you forgive yourself and others. If you need help with that just ask. Since I learnt this open secret, I live happy, forgive in advance. The open-secret is that God always has exceptional plans for me, He grants me grace before, during and after a hurting situation; If I pay attention to Him during the hurt He soothes me with words from scripture or the Holy Spirit; I come out stronger, wiser and better from the hurt; then my mess becomes a message to strengthen others. (I have a bunch of scriptures He’s given for different situations, I can share if you ask).
So here’s my freedom-from-hurt template and feel free to shed a tear if it comes, tears are awesome:
- Take a moment to kneel (a quiet place to sit and meditate would do) and tell God EXACTLY how you feel, tell Him what happened (don’t mind He’s aware of all parts of the story)
- Next say you forgive those who hurt you, you forgive yourself (if that’s your case), He also did that with mankind on the cross
- Pray that God blesses those who hurt you, that He forgives them and let them not hurt others
- Next tell Jesus to take the pain in your heart and replace it with Joy, Peace, Love (you could add more if you like, He hears and answers)
- Thank Him for answering, for grace to live purposefully each day, one day at a time, till we meet in Heaven. Amen
Have you tried the freedom-from-hurt template? Any results? Do you have another template that has worked for you?